December 2023

December 1, 2023

To offset Gracie expenses, I have a small, part-time job (a few hours a week) working with AI (artificial intelligence). It sounds sophisticated, but it’s really not. My role boils down to having conversations with ChatBots. For instance, I supply a request, and the ChatBot (AI) generates several responses. I’ll determine which is the better answer (it can be fairly subjective) and then send it another request based on the previous response.

Today I decided to see if the AI could enlighten me on what Gracie might want for her birthday (which is in a few weeks). I posed the following to the ChatBot:

Please write a funny letter from my dog, Gracie, to me, Seth, giving me five gift ideas for her birthday. Gracie is a smart mini goldendoodle, is turning 2 years old, and likes sticks, toys, and bacon treats.

Within seconds, here’s a sample of what it spit out:

Dear Seth,

Woof woof! It’s me, Gracie! 🐾🎉 Can you believe I’m turning 2 years old? I know, I know, I’m a big girl now! 💁‍♀️

As my favorite human, I’m counting on you to make my birthday paw-some. I’ve made a list of the bestest gifts ever, and I’m drooling just thinking about them. 🤤

First, I need an Interactive Toy Bundle. Like, seriously, I’m a genius dog and I need some challenging toys to keep my brain sharp. 🌿💡

Next, fill up a Bacon-Filled Treat Jar with all my favorite snacks! You know how much I love bacon (it’s basically the best thing since squeaky toys). I’ll be the best-behaved dog ever if you make this happen. 🥓🐾

Thirdly, can you please, pretty please, get me a brand new stick?! I know I have a few already, but I love collecting them and adding them to my stick collection.🌳🐿

Fourth, plan a Stick-Fetching Adventure for us! I love chasing after sticks and bringing them back to you (it’s basically my favorite game ever). Let’s go on a super fun hike and make some memories, human! 🏞️🏃‍♀️

Lastly (but not leastly), I need a Canine Spa Day! I know I’m a furry friend, but even dogs need some R&R, right? A bath, trim, and massage would make me feel like the queen of the dog park. 💆‍♀️🐾

And, as a special promise, I vow not to chew holes in the couch (again) if you grant me these paw-some gifts! 😳👀 I know, I know, it was a bad habit, but I’ve been practicing my “leave it” command, and I think I’ve got it down pat! 🐾💪

So, Seth, get to work on making my birthday dreams come true! I promise to be an extra good girl (mostly) if you grant me these paw-some gifts. 🐾💖

Woof woof,
Gracie 🐾🎉

December 8, 2023

Several afternoons in the past week, after not seeing them for quite some time, Gracie and I ran into funny, crazy lady Diane (of Camp Di-Di) and her dog Zeke in Teegarden Park. Being the person I am, I’ve missed Diane’s acerbic tongue. Her stories are engaging, comical, and peppered with sarcasm.

(I’ve wondered what Diane would think of me writing about her in my blog. I think she’d probably be OK with it. In fact, she’d probably say something like, “I hope you mention I’m a sarcastic B*%&h.”)

We got on the subject today about airline terminal experiences. She told me a story of when she was stuck in the Denver airport overnight due to snow, and she slept on the baggage handler ramp (because it was carpeted).

I realized I had a funny airline terminal story that Diane might appreciate. So, I told her about the time about 20 years ago when I was flying out west to visit a national park with Jules. As I packed for the trip and thought of things I might need in the park (and ONLY thinking of things I might need in the park), I threw a pocketknife into the backpack I would have as carry-on luggage. I gave no further thought to it.

Inevitably, at the airport as the backpack ran through security, lights started flashing and the conveyor halted. A security officer pulled out my backpack, held it up and shouted, “Who’s bag is this???”

Confused, I said it was mine. An armed officer approached me, pulled me off to the side, and asked me HARSHLY, “DO YOU KNOW WHY WE STOPPED YOU???”

I was in complete bewilderment. I truly did not know. And I said – and this is the honest-to-goodness truth – “I think I might have more than 3 ounces of mouthwash.”

Really, that’s what I said. When they realized I was too dumb to blow up the terminal, they confiscated my pocketknife, and let me go.

Diane DID think my story was hilarious and I was thrilled to make her laugh. I thought maybe I had topped the storytelling for the afternoon. But she was quick to one-up me.

Diane told me about the time her mother was visiting from Chicago. They had cooked ham. Diane’s mother wanted to make split pea soup from the ham bone. Diane said she hated split pea soup. As Diane’s mother was getting ready to return to Chicago, she wanted to take the ham bone with her. Diane said, “Mom YOU CANNOT TAKE A HAM BONE WITH YOU IN YOUR LUGGAGE.” Diane’s Mom did not listen. She wrapped the ham bone in tin foil and put it in her carry-on luggage. Well, like my experience with the pocketknife in the backpack, as her carry-on luggage ran through security, lights started flashing, the conveyor halted, and a security officer took Diane’s mother aside.

The security officer, thinking a sizeable, somewhat heavy amorphous package wrapped in tinfoil might very well be an explosive, asked Diane’s mother what it was. Mystified about why she was stopped, Diane’s mother said, “It’s just a ham bone” (as if everyone carried carcasses in their carry-on luggage). Security unwrapped it to be certain. When they realized she wasn’t armed with a perilous weapon, they let her go – and allowed her to keep the bone. Evidently, by the time Diane’s mother parted ways with the security officer, they were talking about how you sure can’t let a good ham bone go to waste and exchanging recipes for split pea soup.

Diane and I laughed and laughed about this incident. It was a great story, and I don’t give it full justice. Diane’s facial expressions, dry wit, and sharp timing added far more richness to her tale.

Well, none of this has anything to do with Gracie except it all happened in the dog park while Gracie and Zeke played.

As we were leaving, Diane was quick to point out to me Gracie rolled in something smelly again.

December 11, 2023

It’s merely two weeks before Christmas, and someone’s now on Santa’s “naughty” list! (That’s my ripped recliner in the background. Note the trail of evidence on the floor and also and dangling from her mouth.)

December 12, 2023

Yesterday, Gracie managed to get into a patch of burrs resulting in hundreds of those tiny prickly hooks becoming embedded in her fur.

I spent two hours removing them. She was VERY tolerant with me as I tugged, pulled, cut, and even scraped them out of her long fur. She was so patient, I decided to give her a new toy when we were done.

December 13, 2023

A freshly, professionally groomed golden noodle! She’s ready for her birthday and the holidays!

December 15, 2023

Gracie is TWO today!

December 25, 2023

December 28, 2023

Gracie LOVES her Mr. Hippo toy! It’s her favorite. She knows the toy by name (“Mr. Hippo”). But Mr. Hippo no longer farts, he has no face, his body is ripped nearly in half, he’s missing several legs, and he’s filthy.

So, this week I was THRILLED to find ANOTHER identical Mr. Hippo toy at Rural King in State College. (Rural King – a mammoth depot with not only a warehouse-sized isle of nothing but dog toys, but everything imaginable to satisfy any of your bucolic shopping needs from durable clothing and underwear to fencing and live chickens.) All of the dog toys were 40% off so in addition to the new Mr. Hippo, I purchased a rubber frisbee and a farting pig for later. (Don’t tell Gracie.)

As the new year approaches, it’s out with the old and in with the new. It’s soon time for the old Mr. Hippo to retire.