Earlier this week a huge storm brought a deluge of rain and wind to our area, causing lots of local flooding and power outages. Gracie and I weathered the storm. She spent most of the day in daycare. I was lucky to not lose power.
In the aftermath of the event, the strong winds and supersaturated ground left countless toppled trees and downed branches in its wake. Now, everywhere we go, Gracie finds a massive oversupply of STICKS. For her, that’s been like Christmas all over again.
I’m impressed with the Barking Bard Chatbot’s poem of Gracie’s New Year’s resolutions. But I think the fourth verse needs an even more personalized touch. So, I’m updating it with my own spin:
Verse 4 update:
I’ll keep my bodily functions under control,
No more passing gas, like a silent troll,
I can be much better, as you well know,
And leave all the farting to Mr. Hippo!
Since Gracie can’t actually write (at least not yet), I wanted to see how AI would craft some suitable New Year’s resolutions for her. And I thought it would be entertaining to have the prose generated in poem form. After a tiny bit of my guidance, a few AI reiterations, and my minor tweak here and there, here’s the resultant sonnet!
A Tail of New Beginnings: Gracie’s 2024 Resolutions
by the Barking Bard AI Chatbot for Gracie W.
A New Year’s here, it’s time to shine,
I’ll make some resolutions, and I’ll do them just fine,
No more naughty deeds, I’ll show restraint,
And with each verse, a new change I’ll paint!
No more couch-chewing, I’ll keep my jaws free,
No more holes, no more foam-filled glee,
I’ll find new ways to spend my days,
And leave the furniture in better ways!
I’ll stop jumping on guests who visit our home,
No more doggy pounces, no more guilt to own,
I’ll wag my tail with friendly grace,
And show them I’m a good girl in this place!
In 2024, I’ll be a better pup,
No more sneaky napkin theft, I’ll give it up.
No more stealing, that’s my vow,
I’ll find some toys to chew on now.
Counter surfing, I’ll resist the urge,
No more snatching, no more splurge.
My paws will stay where they should,
And my behavior, forever good.
I’ll keep my bodily functions under control,
No more passing gas, like a silent troll,
I’ll be a better friend to all around,
No more stinky surprises, only tail wags abound!
So here’s to the New Year, let’s make it great,
With my resolutions, I won’t hesitate,
I’ll try to be a better doggy, you’ll see,
And maybe, just maybe, you’ll forgive me.
🐾🎉 Happy New Year! 🎉🐾
To offset Gracie expenses, I have a small, part-time job (a few hours a week) working with AI (artificial intelligence). It sounds sophisticated, but it’s really not. My role boils down to having conversations with ChatBots. For instance, I supply a request, and the ChatBot (AI) generates several responses. I’ll determine which is the better answer (it can be fairly subjective) and then send it another request based on the previous response.
Today I decided to see if the AI could enlighten me on what Gracie might want for her birthday (which is in a few weeks). I posed the following to the ChatBot:
Please write a funny letter from my dog, Gracie, to me, Seth, giving me five gift ideas for her birthday. Gracie is a smart mini goldendoodle, is turning 2 years old, and likes sticks, toys, and bacon treats.
Within seconds, here’s a sample of what it spit out:
Dear Seth,
Woof woof! It’s me, Gracie! 🐾🎉 Can you believe I’m turning 2 years old? I know, I know, I’m a big girl now! 💁♀️
As my favorite human, I’m counting on you to make my birthday paw-some. I’ve made a list of the bestest gifts ever, and I’m drooling just thinking about them. 🤤
First, I need an Interactive Toy Bundle. Like, seriously, I’m a genius dog and I need some challenging toys to keep my brain sharp. 🌿💡
Next, fill up a Bacon-Filled Treat Jar with all my favorite snacks! You know how much I love bacon (it’s basically the best thing since squeaky toys). I’ll be the best-behaved dog ever if you make this happen. 🥓🐾
Thirdly, can you please, pretty please, get me a brand new stick?! I know I have a few already, but I love collecting them and adding them to my stick collection.🌳🐿
Fourth, plan a Stick-Fetching Adventure for us! I love chasing after sticks and bringing them back to you (it’s basically my favorite game ever). Let’s go on a super fun hike and make some memories, human! 🏞️🏃♀️
Lastly (but not leastly), I need a Canine Spa Day! I know I’m a furry friend, but even dogs need some R&R, right? A bath, trim, and massage would make me feel like the queen of the dog park. 💆♀️🐾
And, as a special promise, I vow not to chew holes in the couch (again) if you grant me these paw-some gifts! 😳👀 I know, I know, it was a bad habit, but I’ve been practicing my “leave it” command, and I think I’ve got it down pat! 🐾💪
So, Seth, get to work on making my birthday dreams come true! I promise to be an extra good girl (mostly) if you grant me these paw-some gifts. 🐾💖
Woof woof,
Gracie 🐾🎉
Several afternoons in the past week, after not seeing them for quite some time, Gracie and I ran into funny, crazy lady Diane (of Camp Di-Di) and her dog Zeke in Teegarden Park. Being the person I am, I’ve missed Diane’s acerbic tongue. Her stories are engaging, comical, and peppered with sarcasm.
(I’ve wondered what Diane would think of me writing about her in my blog. I think she’d probably be OK with it. In fact, she’d probably say something like, “I hope you mention I’m a sarcastic B*%&h.”)
We got on the subject today about airline terminal experiences. She told me a story of when she was stuck in the Denver airport overnight due to snow, and she slept on the baggage handler ramp (because it was carpeted).
I realized I had a funny airline terminal story that Diane might appreciate. So, I told her about the time about 20 years ago when I was flying out west to visit a national park with Jules. As I packed for the trip and thought of things I might need in the park (and ONLY thinking of things I might need in the park), I threw a pocketknife into the backpack I would have as carry-on luggage. I gave no further thought to it.
Inevitably, at the airport as the backpack ran through security, lights started flashing and the conveyor halted. A security officer pulled out my backpack, held it up and shouted, “Who’s bag is this???”
Confused, I said it was mine. An armed officer approached me, pulled me off to the side, and asked me HARSHLY, “DO YOU KNOW WHY WE STOPPED YOU???”
I was in complete bewilderment. I truly did not know. And I said – and this is the honest-to-goodness truth – “I think I might have more than 3 ounces of mouthwash.”
Really, that’s what I said. When they realized I was too dumb to blow up the terminal, they confiscated my pocketknife, and let me go.
Diane DID think my story was hilarious and I was thrilled to make her laugh. I thought maybe I had topped the storytelling for the afternoon. But she was quick to one-up me.
Diane told me about the time her mother was visiting from Chicago. They had cooked ham. Diane’s mother wanted to make split pea soup from the ham bone. Diane said she hated split pea soup. As Diane’s mother was getting ready to return to Chicago, she wanted to take the ham bone with her. Diane said, “Mom YOU CANNOT TAKE A HAM BONE WITH YOU IN YOUR LUGGAGE.” Diane’s Mom did not listen. She wrapped the ham bone in tin foil and put it in her carry-on luggage. Well, like my experience with the pocketknife in the backpack, as her carry-on luggage ran through security, lights started flashing, the conveyor halted, and a security officer took Diane’s mother aside.
The security officer, thinking a sizeable, somewhat heavy amorphous package wrapped in tinfoil might very well be an explosive, asked Diane’s mother what it was. Mystified about why she was stopped, Diane’s mother said, “It’s just a ham bone” (as if everyone carried carcasses in their carry-on luggage). Security unwrapped it to be certain. When they realized she wasn’t armed with a perilous weapon, they let her go – and allowed her to keep the bone. Evidently, by the time Diane’s mother parted ways with the security officer, they were talking about how you sure can’t let a good ham bone go to waste and exchanging recipes for split pea soup.
Diane and I laughed and laughed about this incident. It was a great story, and I don’t give it full justice. Diane’s facial expressions, dry wit, and sharp timing added far more richness to her tale.
Well, none of this has anything to do with Gracie except it all happened in the dog park while Gracie and Zeke played.
As we were leaving, Diane was quick to point out to me Gracie rolled in something smelly again.
It’s merely two weeks before Christmas, and someone’s now on Santa’s “naughty” list! (That’s my ripped recliner in the background. Note the trail of evidence on the floor and also and dangling from her mouth.)
Yesterday, Gracie managed to get into a patch of burrs resulting in hundreds of those tiny prickly hooks becoming embedded in her fur.
I spent two hours removing them. She was VERY tolerant with me as I tugged, pulled, cut, and even scraped them out of her long fur. She was so patient, I decided to give her a new toy when we were done.
A freshly, professionally groomed golden noodle! She’s ready for her birthday and the holidays!
Gracie is TWO today!
Gracie LOVES her Mr. Hippo toy! It’s her favorite. She knows the toy by name (“Mr. Hippo”). But Mr. Hippo no longer farts, he has no face, his body is ripped nearly in half, he’s missing several legs, and he’s filthy.
So, this week I was THRILLED to find ANOTHER identical Mr. Hippo toy at Rural King in State College. (Rural King – a mammoth depot with not only a warehouse-sized isle of nothing but dog toys, but everything imaginable to satisfy any of your bucolic shopping needs from durable clothing and underwear to fencing and live chickens.) All of the dog toys were 40% off so in addition to the new Mr. Hippo, I purchased a rubber frisbee and a farting pig for later. (Don’t tell Gracie.)
As the new year approaches, it’s out with the old and in with the new. It’s soon time for the old Mr. Hippo to retire.
Fun with friends in Teegarden Park!
Crosby, Maggie, Roxy, Gracie, and Turk
Maggie, Roxy, and Gracie
Breeze and Gracie
Gracie and Cooper
Gracie is “under the weather.” She has “Kennel Cough.” Kennel Cough is a bacterial infection that’s causing her to have a strong cough – almost like a gag, lethargy, and loss of appetite.
After these symptoms showed up for several days and through the night, I took her to the vet on Monday. Dr. Brenner (her favorite Dr. Walker wasn’t available) quickly made the diagnosis. Dr. Brenner explained that Kennel Cough is highly prevalent this time of the year, and because it is extremely contagious among dogs, Gracie likely caught it either at daycare or from the dog park.
Gracie’s now on two kinds of meds. And, more difficult to enforce, for the next week she has to stay away from other dogs to prevent exposure. That means no dog parks, no daycare, no kennels, and no other playtime with doggie friends for the next 7 days, at least.
It’s going to be a tough week for my noodle.
Gracie is recovering. She still has a lingering cough, but it isn’t as severe or as frequent. She also has her appetite back and she has more energy. But we’re not over this hurdle yet. We’re preventing contact with other doggies until we get clearance from the vet.
I’m very relieved my noodle is feeling better! For the past few days on our excursions, she’s been happily running in fields, hunting for sticks, sniffing out secret messages, barking at wildlife (deer, turkey vultures, squirrels), rolling in smelly stuff, and playing “hide and seek” in the bushes. And, in more good news, starting this week she has clearance from the vet to be around other dogs.
Gracie sporting her new green collar!
Unlike when Gracie was a puppy, she no longer tries to engage in activity with every dog she encounters. She’s become much more selective of her canine pals. But Piper, arguably, has been – and continues to be – Gracie’s BFF (best friend forever). Piper is the same age as Gracie. She is a friendly, adorable labradoodle. Piper’s owners, John and Dee Dee, are a charming, elderly couple. Piper and family live within walking distance to Teegarden Park.
We frequently find Piper in the park on the weekends. When Gracie spots Piper, she’ll make a beeline across the field to play with her and greet John and/or Dee Dee. The dogs run and wrestle and romp until both flop on the ground, exhausted. After a few minutes, they’ll jump up and run and wrestle and romp some more. Today was no exception!
This morning, John, Dee Dee, and Piper needed to leave the park before Gracie and me. Gracie seemed sad to see them go. As they exited the park, Gracie sat in the field and watched them for many minutes until they disappeared from her sight. And then she remained there even longer. I think when she finally convinced herself they weren’t coming back, she turned and ran to me.
Frisbee fun!
When time allows, I like settling in a chair to read a good book. But almost inevitably, as I begin to get comfortable – and have read no more than a few paragraphs – Gracie will run up to me, drop a toy in my lap, sit down and stare directly at me. If I “pretend” not to see her and keep on reading, she will bark until I engage in play with her.
Needless to say, my reading time has been severely curtailed by my spoiled noodle!
Over the past Labor Day weekend, I took Gracie swimming. Each day we went to a different place. Saturday it was Valley Forge Park. Sunday was The Willows. On Monday, Labor Day, we went to Lloyd’s. It seemed like splashing in the cool waters at some of her favorite spots was good way for her to enjoy a hot, end-of-summer holiday.
In the picture sequence below: Valley Forge, The Willows, Lloyd parks.
Around this time of year, every year, it’s as if an invasive species creeps into the aisles of grocery stores across the planet – or at least in the US. I’m referring to the throngs of PUMPKIN SPICE merchandise that have spread across the retail shelves! What a preposterous plethora of seasonal products ranging from especially appealing (Birch Benders Pumpkin Spice Pancake and Waffle Mix) to distasteful (Test Kitchen PUMPKIN SPICE BEEF JERKY), and even ridiculous (Pumpkin spice “dude wipes”). Among some other curious store offerings of pumpkin period items include Pumpkin Spice Twinkies, Native Pumpkin Spice Deodorant, Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese, Pumpkin spice garbage bags, Pumpkin Spice Poo~Pourri Before-You-Go Toilet Spray, and – even –
Pumpkin Spice Beard Oil! Quick to cash in on the trend, too, among fast food franchise selections are, for a limited time, the Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino at Starbucks, a Pumpkin Spice Pancake Combo at IHOP, and coming on September 12, the Pumpkin Spice Frosty at Wendy’s.
What does all of this have to do with my Goldendoodle? Well, it might not be any surprise that companies catering to canines have ALSO jumped on the pumpkin spice bandwagon. In the picture below, Gracie is posed with some of the pumpkin spice goods for sale this fall. Numbered items are listed below.
Shown above (as numbered clockwise starting from the top left) are:
1. GREENIES Regular Natural Dog Dental Care Chews Oral Health Dog Treats, Pumpkin Spice Flavor
2. Pet House Pumpkin Spice Natural Plant-Based Mini Candle
3. Showseason Bath & Brush Therapies Pumpkin Spice Cologne
4. Showseason Pumpkin Spice Conditioner Gallon (Obviously for your pet’s fur conditioning needs all year round!)
5. Pumpkin Spice Pet Shampoo for Dogs
6. Frisco Pumpkin Spice Personalized Dog Bandana
7. Bootique Pumpkin Spice Plush Dog Toy
8. Pooch Cake Wheat-Free Pumpkin Spice Cake Mix & Frosting Dog Treat
9. One Fur All Pet House Pumpkin Spice Car Air Freshener
The bombardment of this seasonal seasoning craze definitely makes one wonder. “What will they think of next to exploit it??” For now, I’m trying not to think about it and simply “go with the flow” while I secretly munch on my Oreo Pumpkin Spice Sandwich Cookies.
Gracie almost camouflaged…
I have a vague recollection of a dream I had last night about untying knots. Maybe it was a premonition. When I got home from work today, I encountered this at the top of the stairs:
While I was out this morning, Gracie was busy fraying the edge of the throw rug and then using the strands to tie up Mr. Gumby. I’m not sure what Gumby did to deserve this treatment!
Gracie enjoyed a brief visit with Mom recently. Gracie loves going to the Oaks where she gets LOTS of attention!
Welcome to the new format of the Gracie Update! I’ve consolidated the collection of daily Gracie Updates to a website, raisinggracieblog.com. Future updates will be generated from this site.
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A special Haiku from Gracie…
In my neighborhood
Ripe, stinky, smelly odors
I LOVE garbage day!
Summer = Swimming + Sticks
When Gracie and I go to a stream, if there are no sticks handy for me to throw to have Gracie retrieve, she’ll scavenge the shallow areas of the water searching for one. She’ll often dip her whole face into the water, pull a stick out, bring it to shore and assess it for gnawing. Some sticks seem to have exceptional “chew ability” and will keep her occupied for a while – like this sizeable one she recently fished out of the Schuylkill River:
Yesterday, at the Willows, I threw sticks for Gracie to retrieve AND she foraged the stream for even more sticks. She carefully placed every stick she retrieved and scavenged onto a rocky bed in the middle of the stream as she assembled her own little “stick island.”
About 10 years ago, my financial advisor at the time asked me what my goals were for retirement. I looked him in the eye, and with assurance, I stated, “My plan for retirement is to get a dog, take it to the woods, and throw sticks for it.” He laughed. I was dead serious. (I didn’t mention a few other intentions I had for retirement such as vacationing in the Caribbean).
And here it is 10 years later – and I’m living my dream! (At least part of it…)
😊
Our doggie friend Rascal is getting up in age. Rascal, unfortunately, has always thoroughly disliked other dogs. He typically growls and barks- wildly and protectively – when he spots another canine. But last weekend, when Gracie inadvertently ventured into Rascal’s space, Rascal tentatively sniffed Gracie and then engaged in play with her. It was a breakthrough!
Who says “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?
Rascal and Gracie…
Because of expected rainy weather, I took Gracie to daycare yesterday. When I dropped her off, I perused and selected “Nail Trim” and “Anal Gland Expression” from the à la carte menu. “Expression” – such an elegant adjective. Like the gland is doing some sort of meaningful dance. I’m aware now of what an “expression” entails, and I know it’s not as delightful as it sounds.
Maybe it was due to my not getting much activity yesterday while Gracie was at daycare, but last night I had vivid dreams of exercising with friends. I dreamt we were in a tight group, and I was squeezing between people as I worked out. I woke up from all of my movement and found myself with my head at the foot of the bed, underneath the covers, bi-pap on, struggling to get out! Good grief! (Gracie slept through it all.)
Today I made sure both Gracie and I had plenty of time outside! I’m getting adequate activity while she sports her freshly expressed gland!
Below, Gracie with playmates at doggie daycare yesterday. It seems to me she’s asking, “You’re expressing WHAT???”
My golden noodle received her summer cut today! (Her dippity-doodle-noodle-do!). Before and after shots below….
While it seemed to go OK for Gracie last year, this year the fireworks from nearby Wilson Farm Park were an ordeal for her. She barked. She cowered. And, completely uncharacteristically, she didn’t even want to go outside after the fireworks concluded. Thankfully, they are over for another year.
Gracie needed a good day.
So, one of the nice things about being retired is having the option to wake up and make spontaneous plans. Yesterday was one of those days. Given Gracie’s ordeal from the fireworks the night before, I thought, “why not take Gracie to the New Jersey shore today and introduce her to the ocean?” And that’s what we did!
I had read online about a dog park and a dog beach in Wildwood, NJ. That’s where we went! It’s about a 2-hour drive. On arrival, we first visited the dog park, which I spotted immediately by the 25-foot fire hydrant at the park entrance. In the fenced-in park, Gracie romped through the sand, chased other dogs, and sniffed canine scents to her heart’s content. Then we went toward the water where dogs were permitted, on-leash. We walked along the shoreline and, after her initial apprehension of the water flowing toward and receding from the shore, Gracie was soon eagerly stepping through small waves.
I think she loved the ocean! An adventurous time it was!
In retrospect, I learned a few lessons along the way. These are some things I will do differently the next time I decide to venture to the shore with my dog. (Or these are some handy pieces of advice if you decide to do so with your dog. You’ll thank me later.)
You’re welcome.
New theory recognized:
Murphy’s first certainty principle of floors states that it is inevitable your dog will go outside and roll in something atrociously smelly immediately following getting your wall-to-wall carpets professionally shampooed.
Gracie and I got caught in a heavy downpour today at Lloyd Park. But not before she had a chance to retrieve tennis balls and frisbees from the water and race around the fields with doggie friends. We both came home thoroughly soaked!
One of the things I love about modern-day technology is being able to get a local hour-by-hour forecast. According to weather.com, today’s prediction was partially sunny skies until thunderstorms around 2-3pm. So, around 11 this morning, well before the rain would be rolling in, Gracie and I headed for Mount Joy in Valley Forge Park for a leisurely walk in the woods.
One of the things I hate about modern-day technology is that it is frequently WRONG. We had set out on the trail with sunny skies. But by the time we were about a quarter mile into the woods, heavy drops began falling. A few minutes later the sky opened up and we were caught in pouring rain. Must have been from that lone cloud over Valley Forge Park.
(You know, despite my many years working in the IT sector, you’d think I’d know better than to place so much trust in hi tech – especially a forecast. Mother Nature, I believe, will ALWAYS manage to evade mankind’s most advanced technical efforts. And while I’m on this mini rant regarding tech, I wonder – in today’s world of scientific marvels such as virtual reality, space stations, and robotic vacuum cleaners, why does it STILL take 3 hours slogging through multiple phone calls, a zillion phone trees, repeating my account number 50 times, and numerous attempts at translating foreign languages of customer service reps to resolve a $20 discrepancy on my Internet bill?)
I digress.
Gracie and I cut our walk short to Mount Joy. We turned around to come home. The trails had already turned to mud, and the rain continued to fall. We arrived home dirty and soaked. And to sunny skies.
(Below) Gracie on the trail today before the mud.
I had another condo board meeting last evening. This one was held on Zoom again, but Teresa joined me in my home because her computer wasn’t working. Gracie was beyond excited to have Teresa at our house. Gracie did manage be more subdued this time than last month’s meeting. (No disruptive grunting from Mr. Hippo.) She mostly sat with Teresa as Teresa showered her with pets. Until mid-meeting, during a Zoom conversation, Gracie let out an EXCEEDINGLY LOUD burp. I don’t remember that part of the board’s discussion at all because, following our pausing from the initial shock (“did that really happen??”), Teresa and I couldn’t stop howling with laughter. I’m sure the other board members didn’t believe us when we blamed the belch on the dog.
Photo below shows Gracie resting after the meeting.
Note to introverts: If find yourself at a party and you don’t know 90% of the people there and you are intimidated and feeling claustrophobic and you are stumped for conversation, ask the person next to you if they have any pets. If they say “Yes,” ask them if they have any pictures of their pet. I guarantee you they will immediately answer in the affirmative and whip out their cell phone to show you multiple photos of said pet. That stranger next to you will then engage in a prolonged explanation of each photo, pointing out each of the endearing traits of their pet. If other people around you also have pets, all those people will also pull out their cell phones and display their pet photos and a lively discussion will ensue with everyone exchanging their favorite pet stories.
If the person next to you does not have a pet, after your moment of trepidation, you can:
As an introvert, I discovered the pet angle is a great conversation starter. And now I’m one of those people whipping out their phones showing multiple pictures (in my case, thousands) of their pet. If no one has pets, well, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
Raising Gracie 